Next time you’re out walking about, you may want to give passers-by a smile, or at least a nod. Recent research reveals that these tiny gestures can make people feel more connected!
People who have been acknowledged by a stranger feel more connected to others immediately after the experience than people who have been deliberately ignored, according to study reported here today (May 24) at the annual meeting of the Society for the Study of Motivation.
“Ostracism is painful,” said study researcher Eric Wesselmann, a social psychologist at Purdue University in Indiana. “Sometimes, colloquially, I like to say ostracism sucks. It’s not a pleasant experience.”
The pain is psychological, but it can also extend to the physical. Studies have linked loneliness to a weakened immune system and a hardening of the arteries, for example. And a variety of laboratory experiments have shown that when a person is excluded, even if for a brief time in something as inconsequential as a silly computer game, they feel worse about themselves and experience an all-around sour mood.
Researchers suspect that this response is evolutionary. Humans are social animals, adapted for group living, Wesselmann said.
“If you depend upon others for your survival, if you are culled from that group, you are as good as dead,” he said.
If that’s the case, people should be very tuned-in to clues about social acceptance and rejection. Wesselmann and his colleagues decided to conduct a subtle experiment to find out. Their participants, 239 pedestrians in a busy campus area, didn’t even know they were part of a study. They simply passed by someone who acknowledged them politely, acknowledged them with a smile or stared straight through them as if they weren’t even there. The researchers were aiming to create a feeling the Germans call “wie Luft behandeln,” or “to be looked at as though air.” [ 7 Thoughts That Are Bad For You ]
(Psychology has also explained another German expression, “ schadenfreude,” or the joy we sometimes get when others fail.)
Immediately after this encounter, the unknowing participants got waylaid by another person who asked them to fill out a survey on social connectedness. The participants had no idea that the stranger who had just passed them was part of this study. A fourth group of participants filled out the survey without ever encountering the stranger at all.
The survey results showed that being pointedly ignored by a stranger had an immediate effect. Participants who’d gotten the cold shoulder reported feeling more socially disconnected than people who’d gotten acknowledged, whether that acknowledgement came with a smile or not. People who hadn’t encountered the stranger fell somewhere in the middle.
Cities, suburbs and rural areas all have their own rules about street meet-and-greets. (You’d likely get strange looks nodding at every stranger on the sidewalk in Manhattan, but ignoring fellow walkers in small-town Tennessee wouldn’t be looked upon kindly.) Those regional differences could influence the results, Wesselmann told LiveScience, though it’s likely that the deliberate “wie Luft behandeln” look would be off-putting anywhere.
Wesselmann and his colleagues detailed their results in February in the journal Psychological Science. from: http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com








2 Comments User Comments
Add a commentAshley
May 30, 2012
8:59 am
Having the best of both worlds if often what I call living in the city, but having family that all live in the small town country where everyone knows everyone. It is amazing the difference which i’m sure we’ve all experienced. I walk around the mall in Brampton/Mississauga, no one looks at anyone, afraid someone will mistake their glance as a dirty look or an invite to fight. I walk from one end of Napanee, ON, where I was raised to the other and not only do you smile at everyone along the way, you probably adress them by name and stop and ask what they’ve been up to lately. I really agree with this story, when someone says a simple hello passing by anywhere, it’s a good feeling, acknowledging there still is good in this world…somewhere.
RainbowRay
May 30, 2012
11:30 am
“Smiling and saying hello” is a lost art form unless it’s with people you know. If you live in a small town where everyone knows everyone, then it’s not a problem as opposed to large cities where it is, right?
I would like to try an exercise and I WILL do it by walking saying “Hello” to 10 people some time this week and see how many people actually say “hello” (if all goes well, maybe I won’t stop at ten). I’ll post my results on this same “blog” when I’ve completed this exercise and you can check for yourself whether I or this article are right or wrong (I bet were right!).
There was a website I looked at where this man did the same thing in the town he lived in (don’t remember which town and he found that he got the strangest reactions from people, but on the positive side, he did actually get a few hellos which is a good sign that there is still hope in “the goodness and friendliness” of people (if the people themselves believe in it, that’s what counts, right?)
So check back in a few days to this blog for the results!
LOVE
RainbowRay
Sharing is caring and caring is sharing; living is giving and giving is living